Just let the fact sit with you that the guy who dodged the draft five times because of ‘bone spurs’, and called our servicemen and women ‘suckers and losers’, is planning to throw himself a military parade for his 79th birthday, at a cost of nearly $100 million dollars to the people he’s telling he’s eliminating ‘waste’ for, and as he single-handedly tanks our economy, causes prices to rise, and puts people out of work.
Meanwhile, The New Civil Liberties Alliance – a Conservative action group funded by Charles Koch – you remember Charles Koch from when he and his brother were considered the Sith Lords of the Republican Empire before Trump and Musk – well, they’re suing Trump for an ‘unlawful power grab’ regarding his tariffs.
You see, Trump is violating the law by bypassing Congress and single handedly making these calls, by…you guessed it…EXECUTIVE ORDER!
Claiming a ‘National Emergency’ due to fentanyl, Trump enacted the order on February 1st…but China has nothing to do with the fentanyl issue, and therefore, his sweeping global tariffs outside of Mexico and Canada are null and void under the very premise he used to give himself this power.
It’s almost like he doesn’t give a shit about The Constitution or something.
But that can’t be true, because the MAGAs SWEAR he’s the most patriotic American to ever be American in the most American office!
And he’ll prove it with his ‘Suckers And Losers Parade’!
Meanwhile, looming on the horizon is April 20.
You see, there was another EXECUTIVE ORDER signed the day he took office.
In that order, Trump gave the Dept. of Defense and The Department of Homeland Security 90 days to present a joint report to him on whether he should invoke ‘The Insurrection Act’ due to our “southern border crisis”.
Pete ‘Signal’ Hegseth heads the Dept. of Defense, and Kristi ‘Selfie at an El Salvadorian Mega Prison’ Noem heads Homeland Security.
What do you think that report is gonna say?
And from The Insurrection Act….MARTIAL LAW!
And from Martial Law…SUSPENDED ELECTIONS!
THIRD TERM PROJECT, BROS!!!
It’s fun for the whole family!
In fairness, he DOES understand insurrections…he throws them whenever he can and invites all his friends!
He even bails them out of jail afterward!
Now, it’s possible that their report could be that he’s done “such an amazing job” at the Southern border since taking office, that we’ve avoided having to invoke The Insurrection Act!
CIRCLE JERK!
YAY!
Of course they’ll be forgetting that they were previously pointing out that Biden was way more of a big ol meanie at the border than Trump, because deportations jumped to a 10 year high under his administration….while of course, the border crisis was worse than ever.
Did you ever feel drunk from simply reading?
Weird, right?
But hey, egg prices are down!
Just don’t plan on making any omelets though, cuz produce is about to fuck you, my bros.
Scrambled it is…with AMERICAN cheese!
FREEDOM EGGS!!!
And we STILL have people who can’t understand the absurdity of this moron.